Well, not quite hung but close enough. So, the June 2nd meeting happened. They told us pretty much nothing about the budget. That was on a Tuesday. Everyone that was extra help got a call about 4 pm Wednesday night that the program director wanted to see us at 8:30 the next morning. Another couple aides and myself started being nosy and seeing if any of the supervisors or social workers knew what the director wanted to talk to us about, but to no avail. Come Thursday at 8:30, we get told we'll be laid off on the 30th.
Fabulous, right?
So, what happened next? *cue dramatic music* I got really down and did something I try not to do often: retail therapy. I picked up some curtains to finish off my room (as much as I can right now), got 300+ photos developed, and a couple other things. So, after the spending spree was over, I figured I may as well start job searching again or get enrolled back in school. As of right now, I am enrolled in the Grand Canyon University, the online degree option. Today is actually supposed to be the first day of class. We'll see how it pans out.
As for job searching, I've been sort of looking since about April when a lot of the budget stuff really came to light, but I need to start actively searching. I'm just not looking forward to being back at ground zero. But on the happy scale, I'm going to Avila with my family. My dad & I actually leave on Wednesday and the rest of the family (yes, including the dogs) will be coming up on Friday. And in October I get to go to Cirque. YAY!! I might even have a job by then!!
"Hung by the High Gallows Tree"-Poxy Boggards
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Ball of Confusion
Well, here's my second May post. I know it's not the season of miracles, but that's why they're called miracles, right?
Anyway, graduation weekend was a lot of fun. Cosmic bowling the night I get up there, graduation and bbq the next day, and a full day at the beach after that. Then I had to go back, which wasn't so happy, but it still had to happen.
I just don't know what's going to happen now. There's a couple things I probably should have said, but I choked up at the last minute. I'm not regretting choking up, but I was definitely irritated about it. Not as much any more, but just slightly.
And I've been doing some more thinking. I had the blues the other day when I realized I couldn't actually move out right now if I still wanted to start paying back my student loans on time. Which I don't know if I'm going to be able to make continuous payments, which worries me. I don't want to start paying until I know I'll be able to pay them off in full on a constant basis. I'm going to have to look again at what options I have to defer them. I know what a couple are, but I'm gonna have to talk to somebody and find out some more info.
I also know I'm not as emotionally...flatlined? constant? steady?....as I used to be. On some levels that's good (I'm sure), but on others it's very unsettling (I'm very sure). I'm thinking it's probably just because of where I am in my life and what I've been thinking about, but it's still something I don't really want to deal with. A good portion of it most probably comes from the job because I generally don't talk about my job. Not even to my parents, my mom specifically. Which is something I normally do. In one sense it's good I'm relearning how to deal with things on my own but saddening to realize that I've become that much more closed with my parents.
Help?
"Ball of Confusion"-The Temptations (maybe)
Anyway, graduation weekend was a lot of fun. Cosmic bowling the night I get up there, graduation and bbq the next day, and a full day at the beach after that. Then I had to go back, which wasn't so happy, but it still had to happen.
I just don't know what's going to happen now. There's a couple things I probably should have said, but I choked up at the last minute. I'm not regretting choking up, but I was definitely irritated about it. Not as much any more, but just slightly.
And I've been doing some more thinking. I had the blues the other day when I realized I couldn't actually move out right now if I still wanted to start paying back my student loans on time. Which I don't know if I'm going to be able to make continuous payments, which worries me. I don't want to start paying until I know I'll be able to pay them off in full on a constant basis. I'm going to have to look again at what options I have to defer them. I know what a couple are, but I'm gonna have to talk to somebody and find out some more info.
I also know I'm not as emotionally...flatlined? constant? steady?....as I used to be. On some levels that's good (I'm sure), but on others it's very unsettling (I'm very sure). I'm thinking it's probably just because of where I am in my life and what I've been thinking about, but it's still something I don't really want to deal with. A good portion of it most probably comes from the job because I generally don't talk about my job. Not even to my parents, my mom specifically. Which is something I normally do. In one sense it's good I'm relearning how to deal with things on my own but saddening to realize that I've become that much more closed with my parents.
Help?
"Ball of Confusion"-The Temptations (maybe)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Next Go Round
Welcome to May. Notice that this is at the beginning of the month instead of, say, the last day/night of the month. Aren't you proud of me?
Anyway, went to Ren Faire last weekend. Always fun. Got to see a couple friends of mine. Also always fun. And thought provoking. Something that one of my friends said (it was a really bad day for her) was "isn't it morbid that we've come to this point in our lives?" Just because I agree with her doesn't mean I like hearing it voiced!!!
Yes, I'm at a better place than I have been. Yes, I have half a small chance of getting into a permanent position in the county. However, one of those chances was as a social worker. Something which I have never and still do not want to do. Especially after being their gopher. So even if I do get it (which I'm not counting on), I'd be miserable. I'd make the best of it that I could, but I would be absolutely unhappy doing it. Sometimes it doesn't pay to have a good idea of who I am or what I like because of situations like this.
But, that's in the future. In the immediate future, I'm heading back up to Monterey to see my friends graduate (yay!!!). Although I'm thinking of getting a massage on the way up or on the way back down. I've gotten to the point where I can physically feel the tension around my neck and on my shoulders, which is never good.
However, none of this means I'm allowed to give up. I'm still weirded out by the very definite fact that I graduated college a year ago. And that I'm now watching friends that I came in with, graduate. I'm hoping to not feel lost again, but I think I'm starting to feel the vestiges of it. That, and I've been looking at apartments/studios/condos in SLO. Since I don't think that I'll be able to move out of CA after I move out of Tehachapi, I would love to be in San Luis. I don't mind Monterey, but I'm a mountain girl. I need a place with mountains. Which San Luis has. And Hearst Castle, and the awesome comic book shop, and a gazillion coffee shop things, and late hours, and....you can see where I'm going with this.
But, as with everything else, it depends on my job. Or where the job market takes me. And I'll have some more info about what's going on with the Kern County budget after June 2nd. They're holding an all-staff meeting, attendance mandatory unless otherwise excused. So I'm sure I'll have a couple things to say after that.
"Next Go Round"-Nickelback
Anyway, went to Ren Faire last weekend. Always fun. Got to see a couple friends of mine. Also always fun. And thought provoking. Something that one of my friends said (it was a really bad day for her) was "isn't it morbid that we've come to this point in our lives?" Just because I agree with her doesn't mean I like hearing it voiced!!!
Yes, I'm at a better place than I have been. Yes, I have half a small chance of getting into a permanent position in the county. However, one of those chances was as a social worker. Something which I have never and still do not want to do. Especially after being their gopher. So even if I do get it (which I'm not counting on), I'd be miserable. I'd make the best of it that I could, but I would be absolutely unhappy doing it. Sometimes it doesn't pay to have a good idea of who I am or what I like because of situations like this.
But, that's in the future. In the immediate future, I'm heading back up to Monterey to see my friends graduate (yay!!!). Although I'm thinking of getting a massage on the way up or on the way back down. I've gotten to the point where I can physically feel the tension around my neck and on my shoulders, which is never good.
However, none of this means I'm allowed to give up. I'm still weirded out by the very definite fact that I graduated college a year ago. And that I'm now watching friends that I came in with, graduate. I'm hoping to not feel lost again, but I think I'm starting to feel the vestiges of it. That, and I've been looking at apartments/studios/condos in SLO. Since I don't think that I'll be able to move out of CA after I move out of Tehachapi, I would love to be in San Luis. I don't mind Monterey, but I'm a mountain girl. I need a place with mountains. Which San Luis has. And Hearst Castle, and the awesome comic book shop, and a gazillion coffee shop things, and late hours, and....you can see where I'm going with this.
But, as with everything else, it depends on my job. Or where the job market takes me. And I'll have some more info about what's going on with the Kern County budget after June 2nd. They're holding an all-staff meeting, attendance mandatory unless otherwise excused. So I'm sure I'll have a couple things to say after that.
"Next Go Round"-Nickelback
Monday, April 27, 2009
Roll the Chariot Along
So, here it is! *cue trumpet* The fantastic, new, APRIL blog!!!!
...Yeah, I'm sure you're all jumping up and down in anticipation. Anyway, I FINALLY own my own bed-YAY!!!! I'm no longer sleeping on a futon. Which I am absolutely stoked about. And I've managed to rearrange my room into something that resembles a miniature living room. I've still got the futon in there, but I've got my tv set up so I can watch from the futon, my movies, various endtables, and my stereo. I am happy that I've got something that feels more like my room now.
My cats are spastic as ever. It's kind of sad when you know that the older cat is the smartest of the bunch-and she's none too bright to start with. Oh well. C'est la vie.
Although I'm currently employed with the county, I've been looking at other jobs because I'm not counting on job security past June, when the new fiscal year starts on July 1st. We'll see what happens, but just to be on the safe side....Besides, I need to start paying off my student loans. Which also starts in July. You can see my problem.
Although I didn't get into JET, my friend in Monterey did (you know who you are!!), for which I'm glad. If things get somewhat better, I might actually be able to hop a flight there and stay for a little bit. I dunno, maybe a week. If I'm flying out of country, gotta make it worth it, you know?
And I was able to make my trip to Monterey this month. If my supervisor ever gets back to me, I'll also be able to hit Ren Faire this weekend or next. Can't do it the weekend of the 16th, because I'll be back in Monterey for my friends' graduation. Speaking of, you know how weird it is to come to the realization that I've been graduated for a year? I've got very mixed feelings about it. I just...it's very mixed. *shrug* Oh well. When I feel the need to get it off my chest I'm sure I will. To leave everyone with a happy thought though, remember: knowledge is power. Power is corruptive. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. If you become an absolute scholar, then you have absolutely corrupted power. But at that point, the spectrum of good and evil is so far beneath you that you don't have to worry about being moralistic.
Have a nice day. :)
"Roll the Chariot Along"-Seamus Kennedy
...Yeah, I'm sure you're all jumping up and down in anticipation. Anyway, I FINALLY own my own bed-YAY!!!! I'm no longer sleeping on a futon. Which I am absolutely stoked about. And I've managed to rearrange my room into something that resembles a miniature living room. I've still got the futon in there, but I've got my tv set up so I can watch from the futon, my movies, various endtables, and my stereo. I am happy that I've got something that feels more like my room now.
My cats are spastic as ever. It's kind of sad when you know that the older cat is the smartest of the bunch-and she's none too bright to start with. Oh well. C'est la vie.
Although I'm currently employed with the county, I've been looking at other jobs because I'm not counting on job security past June, when the new fiscal year starts on July 1st. We'll see what happens, but just to be on the safe side....Besides, I need to start paying off my student loans. Which also starts in July. You can see my problem.
Although I didn't get into JET, my friend in Monterey did (you know who you are!!), for which I'm glad. If things get somewhat better, I might actually be able to hop a flight there and stay for a little bit. I dunno, maybe a week. If I'm flying out of country, gotta make it worth it, you know?
And I was able to make my trip to Monterey this month. If my supervisor ever gets back to me, I'll also be able to hit Ren Faire this weekend or next. Can't do it the weekend of the 16th, because I'll be back in Monterey for my friends' graduation. Speaking of, you know how weird it is to come to the realization that I've been graduated for a year? I've got very mixed feelings about it. I just...it's very mixed. *shrug* Oh well. When I feel the need to get it off my chest I'm sure I will. To leave everyone with a happy thought though, remember: knowledge is power. Power is corruptive. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. If you become an absolute scholar, then you have absolutely corrupted power. But at that point, the spectrum of good and evil is so far beneath you that you don't have to worry about being moralistic.
Have a nice day. :)
"Roll the Chariot Along"-Seamus Kennedy
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Hymn of the Fayth
Well, it's the end of March but it's still in March. Maybe I'll even get a couple blogs in for April. No, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you either.
Job's going fairly well. I've lucked out in the sense I've only had a few REALLY bad days where it took me at least half a drink to calm down. Of course, something that makes it easier is laughing at it. In reality my job actually kinda sucks emotionally/mentally/zen-wise, but the trick is distancing yourself. Most of my coworkers don't understand this concept, but a couple that I sort of hang with do.
Why do I say that? I don't know who's still reading this (see last post) but the majority of what I do is supervise visits between parents and their kids, who have been taken away from the parents. Each case is different, but some are harder to deal with than others. If you let it get to you, that is. I'm fairly successful in not letting that happen.
On the upside, I did get to go to Monterey this month. I was stoked about it 'cuz I needed a vacation. Didn't stay as long as I wanted, but such is life. I'm planning on showing up again in April. I know some of my friends aren't doing that great, so I wish them good health and best of luck, esp. in troubled times.
Oh, and EternalPuppy! I BEAT THE GAME!!! I ROCK!!! Your turn. :)
"Hymn of the Fayth"-Final Fantasy X soundtrack
Job's going fairly well. I've lucked out in the sense I've only had a few REALLY bad days where it took me at least half a drink to calm down. Of course, something that makes it easier is laughing at it. In reality my job actually kinda sucks emotionally/mentally/zen-wise, but the trick is distancing yourself. Most of my coworkers don't understand this concept, but a couple that I sort of hang with do.
Why do I say that? I don't know who's still reading this (see last post) but the majority of what I do is supervise visits between parents and their kids, who have been taken away from the parents. Each case is different, but some are harder to deal with than others. If you let it get to you, that is. I'm fairly successful in not letting that happen.
On the upside, I did get to go to Monterey this month. I was stoked about it 'cuz I needed a vacation. Didn't stay as long as I wanted, but such is life. I'm planning on showing up again in April. I know some of my friends aren't doing that great, so I wish them good health and best of luck, esp. in troubled times.
Oh, and EternalPuppy! I BEAT THE GAME!!! I ROCK!!! Your turn. :)
"Hymn of the Fayth"-Final Fantasy X soundtrack
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Work in Progress
So, here's the deal for those that don't already know: I am no longer working at KMart, and am now working for Kern County. I essentially hold the position of a glorified gopher, but for what they're paying me I'm willing to take it. And if anyone I know is still reading this blog, thank you. I doubt my blog is one that random people on the internet would have stumbled upon, but just in case.
I'm a "work in progress" because I'm slowly pulling myself back together again. I'm going to do some major rearranging so I'm no longer living in a storage unit, I got a friend for my cat so both my girls love me now, I'm trying to work again on my relationship with my brother, and in general just pulling myself back onto my feet. I probably should have asked for more help than I actually did, but for those that helped anyway, thank you.
"Work in Progress"-Alan Jackson
I'm a "work in progress" because I'm slowly pulling myself back together again. I'm going to do some major rearranging so I'm no longer living in a storage unit, I got a friend for my cat so both my girls love me now, I'm trying to work again on my relationship with my brother, and in general just pulling myself back onto my feet. I probably should have asked for more help than I actually did, but for those that helped anyway, thank you.
"Work in Progress"-Alan Jackson
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Joy to the World
Not the "Jeremiah was a bullfrog" version. I have news to report. Good news: I'M FINALLY EMPLOYED!!!!!!!!!! I start Saturday. Not-so-good news: I'm at K-Mart again. But the way I'm looking at it (or at least convincing myself to look at it):
a-I'm only part-time, which means it might just be a seasonal job
b-I can always accept a position somewhere else if offered said position
c-I have a job by Christmas, which is what I wanted
d-I can start saving for JET if I'm accepted.
Not necessarily in that order, but that's the gist of it. Thank you to everyone who has been encouraging me and giving me support during this rough time. Which would be everyone that reads this blog and more that don't. I am truly grateful. And to ya'll in Monterey, this means I should be able to visit more often-YAY! And friends from Tehachapi, same thing-I can actually arrange visits-YAY!
"Joy to the World"-Christmas song, artist of choice
a-I'm only part-time, which means it might just be a seasonal job
b-I can always accept a position somewhere else if offered said position
c-I have a job by Christmas, which is what I wanted
d-I can start saving for JET if I'm accepted.
Not necessarily in that order, but that's the gist of it. Thank you to everyone who has been encouraging me and giving me support during this rough time. Which would be everyone that reads this blog and more that don't. I am truly grateful. And to ya'll in Monterey, this means I should be able to visit more often-YAY! And friends from Tehachapi, same thing-I can actually arrange visits-YAY!
"Joy to the World"-Christmas song, artist of choice